Work Work Work...

So it's Monday and I think I might have a case of them! I know I know...bad joke! But it's been over 4 months and today was my first day back to work 100%! I've been off after the accident for a couple months - I went in a few times but I wasn't ready. I think I tried to push myself to get things in my life back to how they were with going to work and trying to do "normal" everyday things. Today I don't really remember much about going back to work those couple times in January...my head was still not right.

Then February 9th 2007 I had wrist surgery on my right wrist. I had gotten the left wrist worked on January 2006. I had a torn ligament in each wrist that was from an injury from at least 4 or 5 years back. The Doc made 4 small 1/2 cm incisions and fixed me right up...because of the repair I was off work (Dr's orders) until I was told. That way I'd heal up right. It came at a good time because I still needed time off to process all this crap that I'd been put through and it was much needed.

Now it's March 26 - 4 months and 5 days after the accident and I'm READY TO WORK. That's a HUGE step for me and a great feeling. It's nice to get back to a routine and get paid for working. I'm not done grieving, I'm not over Billy, I'm not ready to accept that he's no longer here. I'm just ready to TRY and move on. I know Billy would already be mad at me for taking this long to get things somewhat "normal" again. I'm sure he's proud of me and knows how hard things are for me. I guess I just have to work at making myself somewhat happy again. I know that I will never forget him and my memories of him are what keeps me going.

Work is life. Death is unescapable. Love lasts forever. Memories are never forgotten. And Billy will be my strength to live on.

Fuck! I can't write or think anything without crying.