Flashes...not being able to sleep.

So it's currently 5am on a Wednesday Night / Thursday Morning (whichever you go by) and I cannot sleep. Tonight while trying to fall asleep just like every other night I get flashes of scenes from the accident. Just random flashes. I'm not even sleeping or thinking about the accident or what happened. It happens without warning.

The weird thing about these flashes is that I'm seeing things as if I was in Billy's place. I always seem to be the driving the van he was driving, sitting in the seat he was sitting in, feeling like I'm in the body that he had, acting like he would act, and reacting like he would have. I'm driving and what flashes before me is the last second before I (or Billy) drive head on in to the transport. I have these almost everynight and several times.

What I'm curious about (and I hope I am 100% wrong) is if that may have happened to him. It's like as if Billy fell alseep driving and wakes up at the last minute before he drives into the transport. During that split second of seeing what is happening I also see scenes flash before me. It's always a different scene or time that happened. Always a time that I knew him, nothing before I was involved. I hope for his sake that he didn't see anything coming and didn't have that reaction like I am having. That would be the worst feeling / thought to have before you die.

....Billy I hope that never happened to you. I really really really do. And I miss you soooooooooo much. I think about you all the time and still cannot even believe you are no longer by my side....

I'm also wondering if I could be getting these flashes because no one really knows what happened. This could just be ideas / possibilities that could be the truth. No one knows and will ever know. Then again I think that what if Billy is trying to tell me something or send a message to let me know what happened.

....Again, please, I hope this did not happen to you. Baby, I love you....

Thats all for tonight. I cannot discuss this right now anymore.